Brain Injury, Run to Homebase and the Boston Bombing

at 5:30am we were on the MBTA

In 1986, or there about, I flipped over on a bicycle at 35mph, and hit my head. Fortunately, I was wearing an excellent helmet. Unfortunately, it was 1986, and the insurance world and medical world had no clue about brain injuries. This is the beginning of my education on the ravages of mental illness in America.

They discovered that my left shoulder was messed up badly but never thought of my brain.

 I am told that six months later, I tried to kill myself.

I do not remember anymore, but that started the process that led me to a neuropsychiatrist who diagnosed me with traumatic brain injury (TBI) and many other cool mental illness issues, all of which led them to tell me that I would be permanently hospitalized and divorced within a year.

They were wrong.

 I still have depression (organic affective disorder) 24/7. I still have significant issues with loud noises I do not expect, bright lights, stress, changes in almost anything, groups of people who know who I am, groups of people I can not control or avoid, loss of impulse control, and any social situation. There is more, but I just wanted you to get the picture. This state of mental illness is what my insurance company called recovered. Sense of humor, huh? 

 "Selfless giving is the art of living."– Frederic Lenz

However, the picture above is of my wife Anne and my daughter Barbi. (I am still married.) They got up at 3 am and drove to the Boston metroplex on Saturday, May 4, 2013, so Anne could run in her 4th annual and the 4th annual Run to Home Base. Why you may be asking, is she running to help others who are family members of people with TBI and PTSD?

 "Help thy brother's boat across and lo! Thine own has reached the shore." – Hindu Proverb

 Because we are still married, even though my insurance company stole from me through their corporate stupidity or brilliance, depending on your point of view, in spite of the prediction of our doctors, despite the genuine issues of TBI, she wants to help others who are not so fortunate to have a God and a family who supports them with this condition. So she runs.

Well, there is another pretty big reason. When you run this race, you get to cross HOME BASE at Fenway Park if you finish in time. If you are a baseball fan, you might begin to understand how cool that is, but it takes a Red Sox fan to understand the enormity of the lure. You get to touch THE Home Base ...  and if your quick, you get to touch the grass too, but you have to be quick because they guard it like a hawk. 

 "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile"– Albert Einstein

I only bring this up to underscore how fantastic the event is. TBI is a killer  It kills the people with it; it kills their families and their friends. Literally sometimes, figuratively all the time. Yet, in Boston, the Mass General Hospital, a major player in dealing with TBI, and the Boston Red Sox, along with a list of corporate sponsors too large to list in the blog, (but you can see if you click the picture of Fenway Park above,) got together to raise over 10 million dollars to support veterans and their families who suffer from TBI or PTSD. Pretty cool.

 My wife, Anne, has donated over $20,000 from her business to this event. I am telling you this because her business and our family can not afford to give that much, yet she does it anyway. Every year, she runs the race, crosses the line, and finds a way to donate $1000, because TBI is that bad.

 "We rise by lifting others."– Robert Ingersoll

 If you look at her left wrist, you will see two bracelets. The gold one is from McCoy's Action Karate and is her commitment bracelet from their "I Must" program, where she committed to her intention to raise $1000 and run in her fourth "Run to Home Base," race to help others not as fortunate as we are, concerning suffering from TBI. The blue bracelet was sent to her by one of her karate instructors, who donated $1000 to last year's race, Grand Master Greg Silva, from United Professionals. It says, "I Will."  Mr. Silva, she did! Thank you.

Just in case you are thinking, "How Sweet," I want you to know what was going on during this same time, in my mind, the one with TBI. The one we consider fortunate to have suffered so little and the one whom the insurance company decided did not have anything wrong with them (or an attorney that could sue them, not sure which.) 

"Non nobis solum nati sumus. (Not for ourselves alone are we born.)"– Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

Anne Crossing the Finish Line

I was consumed with the safety of my wife. Every siren I heard, every cop I saw, every official that came near us I thought was there to tell me my wife was hurt, damaged, or in the hospital. I was terrified. At some point, we sat down near the finish line to wait for my wife to run into Fenway. At the appointed time, she did run in, and I began to feel my heartbeat again. I mean that literally.  The panic attack subsided, and my breath and blood performed as designed. Then we spent 10 minutes waiting for her to navigate from the finish line to the place where they crossed home plate.  There were hundreds of people in front of her and behind her.  It had been taking nearly 15 minutes to move from the finish line to Homebase, so we waited, secure in the knowledge that Anne was safe.

Did it tell you how much TBI sucks? At about 8 minutes, we started looking at every face crossing Homebase to get a picture. For the next 10 minutes, we got closer and closer and began to worry. Even my daughter began to worry, and she is not prone to panic. But I am. I freaked out. I assumed they took her away to a hospital. I could not breathe, swallow, and the migraine always there telescoped my vision and nearly made me fall. The right side of my body went numb, and the chest pain was unbelievable.

Then we found her. It turns out she did not want to stop running until she got to Homebase, and the other runners were all just hanging out, so she runs to the base and then went to sit down.

This is the life of a person with TBI, PTSD, and a laundry list of mental illness as a result.

 So my take one the USA’s medical treatment of mental illness is not good.