Brain Injury, Run to Homebase and the Boston Bombing

at 5:30am we were on the MBTA

In 1986, or there about, I flipped over on a bicycle at 35mph, and hit my head. Fortunately, I was wearing an excellent helmet. Unfortunately, it was 1986, and the insurance world and medical world had no clue about brain injuries. This is the beginning of my education on the ravages of mental illness in America.

They discovered that my left shoulder was messed up badly but never thought of my brain.

 I am told that six months later, I tried to kill myself.

I do not remember anymore, but that started the process that led me to a neuropsychiatrist who diagnosed me with traumatic brain injury (TBI) and many other cool mental illness issues, all of which led them to tell me that I would be permanently hospitalized and divorced within a year.

They were wrong.

 I still have depression (organic affective disorder) 24/7. I still have significant issues with loud noises I do not expect, bright lights, stress, changes in almost anything, groups of people who know who I am, groups of people I can not control or avoid, loss of impulse control, and any social situation. There is more, but I just wanted you to get the picture. This state of mental illness is what my insurance company called recovered. Sense of humor, huh? 

 "Selfless giving is the art of living."– Frederic Lenz

However, the picture above is of my wife Anne and my daughter Barbi. (I am still married.) They got up at 3 am and drove to the Boston metroplex on Saturday, May 4, 2013, so Anne could run in her 4th annual and the 4th annual Run to Home Base. Why you may be asking, is she running to help others who are family members of people with TBI and PTSD?

 "Help thy brother's boat across and lo! Thine own has reached the shore." – Hindu Proverb

 Because we are still married, even though my insurance company stole from me through their corporate stupidity or brilliance, depending on your point of view, in spite of the prediction of our doctors, despite the genuine issues of TBI, she wants to help others who are not so fortunate to have a God and a family who supports them with this condition. So she runs.

Well, there is another pretty big reason. When you run this race, you get to cross HOME BASE at Fenway Park if you finish in time. If you are a baseball fan, you might begin to understand how cool that is, but it takes a Red Sox fan to understand the enormity of the lure. You get to touch THE Home Base ...  and if your quick, you get to touch the grass too, but you have to be quick because they guard it like a hawk. 

 "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile"– Albert Einstein

I only bring this up to underscore how fantastic the event is. TBI is a killer  It kills the people with it; it kills their families and their friends. Literally sometimes, figuratively all the time. Yet, in Boston, the Mass General Hospital, a major player in dealing with TBI, and the Boston Red Sox, along with a list of corporate sponsors too large to list in the blog, (but you can see if you click the picture of Fenway Park above,) got together to raise over 10 million dollars to support veterans and their families who suffer from TBI or PTSD. Pretty cool.

 My wife, Anne, has donated over $20,000 from her business to this event. I am telling you this because her business and our family can not afford to give that much, yet she does it anyway. Every year, she runs the race, crosses the line, and finds a way to donate $1000, because TBI is that bad.

 "We rise by lifting others."– Robert Ingersoll

 If you look at her left wrist, you will see two bracelets. The gold one is from McCoy's Action Karate and is her commitment bracelet from their "I Must" program, where she committed to her intention to raise $1000 and run in her fourth "Run to Home Base," race to help others not as fortunate as we are, concerning suffering from TBI. The blue bracelet was sent to her by one of her karate instructors, who donated $1000 to last year's race, Grand Master Greg Silva, from United Professionals. It says, "I Will."  Mr. Silva, she did! Thank you.

Just in case you are thinking, "How Sweet," I want you to know what was going on during this same time, in my mind, the one with TBI. The one we consider fortunate to have suffered so little and the one whom the insurance company decided did not have anything wrong with them (or an attorney that could sue them, not sure which.) 

"Non nobis solum nati sumus. (Not for ourselves alone are we born.)"– Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

Anne Crossing the Finish Line

I was consumed with the safety of my wife. Every siren I heard, every cop I saw, every official that came near us I thought was there to tell me my wife was hurt, damaged, or in the hospital. I was terrified. At some point, we sat down near the finish line to wait for my wife to run into Fenway. At the appointed time, she did run in, and I began to feel my heartbeat again. I mean that literally.  The panic attack subsided, and my breath and blood performed as designed. Then we spent 10 minutes waiting for her to navigate from the finish line to the place where they crossed home plate.  There were hundreds of people in front of her and behind her.  It had been taking nearly 15 minutes to move from the finish line to Homebase, so we waited, secure in the knowledge that Anne was safe.

Did it tell you how much TBI sucks? At about 8 minutes, we started looking at every face crossing Homebase to get a picture. For the next 10 minutes, we got closer and closer and began to worry. Even my daughter began to worry, and she is not prone to panic. But I am. I freaked out. I assumed they took her away to a hospital. I could not breathe, swallow, and the migraine always there telescoped my vision and nearly made me fall. The right side of my body went numb, and the chest pain was unbelievable.

Then we found her. It turns out she did not want to stop running until she got to Homebase, and the other runners were all just hanging out, so she runs to the base and then went to sit down.

This is the life of a person with TBI, PTSD, and a laundry list of mental illness as a result.

 So my take one the USA’s medical treatment of mental illness is not good.

Faith without Works is Hypocrisy or My Wife is Super Women

8:10am - Anne in Group Two at the Start of Run for Home Base 2012

Sunday Morning, at 8:10am, Anne McCoy, my wife, started the 9k road race fund raiser called Run to Home Base, 2012. The 9k, put on by Mass General Hospital, the Red Sox Foundation and New Balance, along with many other sponsors and helpers, is run primarily to provide support for soldiers who return from war with TBI ( Traumatic Brain Injury) and to support their families, who are at least as damaged by the injury as their soldier is.

A little back ground.  Anne is 54 years old for this race.  It is her third race.  She runs it to help the families of those injured.  This is because her husband has had TBI for nearly 25 years, and during that whole time, the McCoy's have beat the odds, and she wants to help others beat the odds too.

It is NOT just another race to her. It is working out her faith. In Micah 7:7, Micah says: "But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." It is hard to explain how living with a family member with TBI changes everything.  The person you married is not longer there, and is replaced by someone else.  In our case, Paul was a physicist.  He now can not add 2 digit numbers in his head, and lives in a world of fear, brought on by the injury, and it's full array of affective disorders.  Anne finds herself in the position of primary care giver for a person who is not the person she married, and is only getting worse.  Add to that a fairly major loss of memory both short and long term, and you get a picture of a spouse under attack.  But she leans on the Lord, and he has heard her.  In return, she is reaching out so others can find peace.  With this injury, it is all about faith, because the reality of the whole thing is hard to fathom.

So, every year she and Paul get up at 2:15am, so they can leave their home to pick up there adult daughter Barbara, and drive to Boston, so she can run in the race.  In order to run in the race, you must raise a minimum of $1000.  Anne and her daughter own a small business in Massachusetts called McCoy's Action Karate, and as you might imagine, in this or any economy, $1000 commitment is large, but such is the nature of her faith and her desire to help.  To say nothing of waking up that early in the morning.

By 5:00am, they have arrived at Riverside MBTA, the first stop on the Greenline, for a 30 minute ride on a train to Fenway park.  Why this early?  Because the organizers want you to check in by 6:30am.  You can see from the picture, she is far more awake than at 3:00am, and still far from awake.

15 minutes after this picture was taken, the train showed up.  On its 12 or so stops before she got off the train, maybe 20 people got on and rode the train.  That is how early it was on a Sunday morning.

Opening Ceremony - 8:15am

From 6:30 to 8:15, you get to walk around Fenway park, read the signs and history, learn about TBI, and wait for the opening speeches.  In our case, 90% of the displays talks about getting help soon, in order to limit the damage.  When Paul was damaged in the mid 80's, few even knew what TBI was, and there was no treatment to speak off.  Constant battles with insurance companies, one of which ended badly in 2007ish.  TBI is not really recognized by anyone, except the person with it, and every once in a while, the families of those with TBI.  So most of this stuff just reminded us that Paul was permanently damaged, and there is no road back.  It is over, and the only hope is that the slide down the hill will be slow.  Not really inspiring. Yet, Barbara and Anne McCoy found material that will help their Karate Instructors help parents prevent injury in their student at karate and at any other sport.  So, though it is an atmosphere of no hope for Paul, it was an atmosphere of Hope for others.  That is how faith works.  You love your neighbor, and you let God take care of you.

Then the race starts, and the picture of that is at the top of this blog.  During the race, which for Anne took 1 hour and 20 minutes, you hear stories of soldiers and family members who have been injured and suffered from TBI, the "invisible wound."  This year, they had a vet from Desert Storm as a Marine, who when he returned home, became a State Police Officer.  When 9/11 shocked the US, he re-enlisted, this time as a member of the US Army Special Forces.  When he returned, his life went down hill, because, as he put it, he did not wish to admit he was wounded with a brain injury.  He was arrested, tried, and Run to Home Base became his salvation and way back to life in the world.  He accepts that he is responsible for his actions, loss of impulse control being one of the most common symptoms of TBI, and urged us to help others with this horrible injury.

Anne Finished at 9:20am

This is a hard thing to hear when you have lived a life that is close to what you are hearing.  It is hard to admit you are injured.  Far easier to accept responsibility for your actions in fact.  Admitting that you can not help yourself is the HARDEST part of TBI, and is one of the biggest reason so many with the injury end up dead or in jail.

Anne runs this race to make a statement that only God helped her, since TBI was unknown when Paul was injured.  Now, she can be the hands and feet of God by reaching out to others, and that is what she did, so far 3 years in a row.

We finished our trip by returning home by 1:30pm Sunday afternoon.  

Let me summarize.  TBI is horrible to live with, but once you have the injury for 20 years, you are not going to get any better.  You only have a few choices.  One,  the most common, is to destroy your marriage and life, perhaps even end your life.  The other is to live with it.  Anne has picked option 3.  She is helping others, out of Love for them and because of the Love the Lord has shown her.  Faith in action.

Why else?  Because Anne, my wife, is a Super Hero.

Oh, and to get this picture ....  Super Hero Anne with another Super Hero,

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Did you Know we have a Facebook page where a daily bible verse and at times some awesome help from others is available?  Visit DoesGodServeYou on Facebook.

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If you would like to help Anne build her fund for the race she just ran, or for next year, donate here.  Do something.  Love is an action.

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