Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Day 3 ~ 21 days to a Positive Attitude

Day 3 - Tuesday March 4

1) Every day write down 3 good things that happened that day for which you are grateful.
        
A. Recovery from knee replacement surgery is ahead of schedule on all measuring points - this is Day 1 of post surgery.

B.Today my daughter brought me yet again another get well quickly card from the students at MAK.  Awesome and unexpected where blessing comes from. But come they do.

C.Constant and never ending mentioning of God, in all circumstances, here in the hospital.  It is as if they all know that this is the point of my greatest distance from the Lord. My church has abandoned me, and don't seem to care; my secular students are lining up with awesome physical support, and I am on mega-drugs - if I need some help in my spirituality, this would be the day.  And poof, the helping hands of God are everywhere.

2) Journal about one positive blessing. One of the three, and explain why that good thing is better than the bad things that happened.

The bad thing in my life right now, to compare the good to, is that I am on massive pain killers, and they are not working. Every time the machine that is designed to increase circulation in my legs goes off, my entire leg "cramps" in sympathetic pain, and no amount of drug therapy cuts through the pain. At times, today, I forgot my name, they told me.  TBI and pain drugs - and some real pain, combine for my private hell.  

The counter point, the blessing of magnitude great enough to make the negative fade away is Point C from above, the constant and never ending presence of the Lord my God in conversation and stories this day. For example, we, my hospital roommate and I, have many points of commonality, one of them being a strong faith in God. Another point of contact we have in common is/was a love for Ireland, thought his love is based on having been born in Ireland and mine is based on having visited it.  The real deal maker was, however, his story of how his faith in God was tested and strengthened.  As it turns out, 6 years ago his adult son died of an unexpected sudden disease.  I have know many families that have had to live through, or have tried to survive the death of one of the children in their family.  It rarely goes well.  There is no greater loss or nightmare a parent can have than the loss of a child. He still feels the pain of separation, and as you would suspect, even if you did not believe in God. His faith helped him overcome the loss. However; he did NOT lose his faith, his family or his wife. The loving hand of his Lord and the hands of his church stepped into his life, and to this day, he notices the blessings from God in the smallest of things.  The loss of child is the largest of things, and it opened his eyes to blessing of all sizes, even as small as a mustard seed. At the same time his story was teaching me about the power of God, it was also teaching me about humility.

3)
 Meditate and detach from multi-tasking, by focusing on scripture~ read it, research it, think about how it might impact your life.

Today it was much harder to read anything.  The pain is so large that at times, right in the middle of reading, I pass out because there is a sudden loss of pain, only to be jarred awake by pain's sudden return.  

Non-the-less, I got to read 1/4 of Luke. Luke was not an Apostle though most scholars agree that he was an Evangelist and the author of the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles. He may or many not have been an eye witness to Jesus's life, but it is clear from context that he was a direct witness to the acts of the apostles. Scholars point out that even though Luke states that the gospel's purpose is to give the reader a solid historical record, the record he provides is more typical of histories of that time period than of our own, where history implies accurate dating and no addition to the script.  So, this book, as is true of most of the writings in the bible is, to modern standards, a mix of accurate history and story telling art.  That does not imply that the stories are make believe, but rather an acknowledgement that historical writings of antiquity were more interested in the passing on of the message whole and intact than they were with micro details in the narrative. 

4) One random act of kindness a week. You can do more. (Try one a day)

I made it a point to get out of the way while walking on the walker in the hospital hallways, to allow faster people, or even older people who needed the boost, to walk past me. Pretty cool to watch their reactions when they figured out that I was "pulling over," for them.

5) Pray. Lay down the hurtful things and gather strength. 

Done
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Rules for 21 Days to a Positive Attitude and Day 1.  Click here
Day 2: Click Here.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Didn't Do It, or the 12 Points to Fight off Rumors and Accusations

Psalm 26 - A Psalm of David (NLT)

Old Faithful 
Credit: Free images from acobox.com

1
"Declare me innocent, O Lord, for I have acted with integrity; I have trusted in the Lord without wavering."
Point 1: If you are being accused or hounded by people (or a victim of rumors), and you didn't do it, Tell God.  If you can't,  then your heart probably thinks you are guilty.


If you believe that the Bible is accurate, inerrant, and the Word of God, you can trust it.  If you do not believe that, then reading this probably will only make you more confused.  Let me put it this way; if you trust the bible, then this will be awesome.  If you think the bible lies, then go play angry birds, cause this will make you angry.


So we start with David, who is innocent.  That is what the Bible says, but of what is he innocent?  


According to Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible, it is likely that David wrote this psalm when he was being chased by Saul. If you remember, Saul was the Supreme Judge or King of Israel at the time. So David could submit himself to Saul for judgement or to God. But what was he being Judged for? 

It can not be for his sinless behavior toward God, since David knew he sinned and we know that no one is righteous before God. For example, Psalm 51:3:(NKJV) "For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me."

So that only leaves the "sins" against Saul, for which he was being pursued, harassed, and killed if he were caught. Even when his men suggested he kill Saul, he would not kill God's anointed. 1 Samuel 24:6-7 "And he said to his men, “The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD.” So David restrained his servants with these words, and did not allow them to rise against Saul. And Saul got up from the cave and went on his way."

I don't know about you, but I have been pursued by friends and companies alike who accused me of doing all sorts of things from lying through stealing.  They were wrong, did not understand what was really going on, looked at things through their own perspective without asking enough questions, and launched to verbal, emotional and at time legal redress.  I have felt like this many times, and in the last 5 years, during the worst of it, I have begun to behave like David.  I try not to attack them with word or deed.  In fact, I try to honor their vision, rather than my own, under the verse above - that they, like me, are God's.  Not easy.  Especially since my injury magnifies stress to the point of illness, but David was looking at death, not illness, and yet he followed the Lord.  So will I.

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2 Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and
my heart.
Point 2: If you believe in your cause strongly enough to appeal to the Lord. Ask him to judge you NOW. If you are right, he is the most powerful advocate against whom no one can stand.  If you are wrong, fixing it now will help your life immeasurably. 


There is no Jury with God.  He knows everything.  Everything.  This is how strong David felt about his actions toward Saul and God.  There is only one penalty for transgressing against the Lord, and he just asked for it to be invoked for sins against Saul, if he had committed any. Wow. That's faith.




3 For I am always aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth.

Point 3: If you defense is "I have not sinned against God," you have already lost.  If your defense is "I didn't do it, and I am following you Truth and Love," you are right! 



What's his defense?  Not, "I never harmed Saul," though that is true. Rather, he says, I know you love me and I live my your word.  Try me on my behavior and my faith.  No wonder God says he is close to the heart of God.  Again, Wow!


I have learned in the last 6 weeks that I must live in the world, so I will be judged by the people in it.  That hurts.  I am hard to understand, and very few really care.  Their lives are hard too, and they are trying to pay their bills, climb their mountains, enjoy their lives and what I am doing really does not matter all that much to them.  They don't care that my Mother in Law almost died from Lyme disease 8 weeks ago, and we have spent the whole of the summer helping her.  They don't know that I don't get paid at all, since I am as messed up mentally as you can be and not be in a hospital.  Not their concern.  So some of them judge me harshly.  Can't change that.  But I have learned to appeal to the Lord. At the end of the day, it is in his court, not the worlds, and David did it too.


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4 I do not spend time with liars or go along with hypocrites.

Point 4:  It really does matter who you call friend.



It really does matter who you hang out with.  I spend time with hypocrites and liars all the time.  I live in the world.  I am one of them.  Yet, I go to those who Love the Lord for advice and friendship.  The others are the mission field we walk in.  Jesus showed us how.  He commanded us to go. Mark 16:15 (NLT) "And then He told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone."

So, hang with those who belong to Christ, but go into the world. 


The Heart of Darkness
Credit: Free images from acobox.com
5 I hate the gatherings of those who do evil, and I refuse to join in with the wicked.
Point 5:  Evil Feels Wrong.  If you do not Feel the wrongness, you need to get closer to God.


I have begun to feel evil now.  Scares me.  I can tell if I am in the wrong place with the wrong people.  It is not always their language, their activity or even their attitude.  It is more like something is missing.  You can feel the absence of the Lord.  I leave when I feel that.  It scares me.


When we visited China, we went to an active Buddhist Temple. Painted wooden statues everywhere.  I though it would not bother me, but when we say people prostrate before wood, it made me ill.  Evil is real.



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6 I wash my hands to declare my innocence. I come to your altar, O Lord,
Point 6:  Before you come before the Lord with your grievance, make sure you are clean of sin.


He washes his hands to remove sin before he comes before the Lord.  This is not arrogance, like saying, "hey, you.  You know I am clean."  Rather, he knows he is NOT CLEAN before the Lord, only before Saul.  He never forgets he is a sinner, even when pleading the unjust treatment he is getting from God's own king.



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7 singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders.
Point 7:  Be Thankful, and tell people about it.  God is NOT private.


Oddly, that is what I am doing with this article right now.  I feel I am being unjustly treated.  My wife is being harrased for doing what normal people could never do.  Our mistakes are being viewed as either stupidity or immorality. I am tired of the weight that I have to see her carry. It has always been so. 


I don't know when I turned the corner, but Anne has always been around the other side.  She can't wait to go to church, to pray before we eat, to pray just because she can.  That is new to me.  I have learned to see the wonders of the Lord within the darkness of the world.  Praise the Lord.



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8 I love your sanctuary, Lord, the place where your glorious presence dwells.

Point 8:  Remember whose you are!


Think about this for a second.  Where is the Lord's sanctuary NOW?
.....

.....

Your Body.  Love yourself and take care of your body, because it is where the glorious presence of the the Lord dwells.



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9 Don’t let me suffer the fate of sinners. Don’t condemn me along with murderers.
Point 9:  Be Sure of Yourself!


David is being bold.  He is telling the Lord not to equate what is happening with Saul with Sin. Two things strike me about this, that I have never noticed before.  First, he must believe in himself quite a lot if he makes a statement that bold to the God of everything.  Second, he is talking like that to God, and God says it is Good. ... 

Credit: Free photos from acobox.com
10 Their hands are dirty with evil schemes, and they constantly take bribes.
Point 10:  Express your outrage at you, a follower of Christ, being treated like those who do not follow.


He draws a line in the sand about his moral behavior with people.  He points out that God's anointed is not playing fair, and is not treating him or others as he should.  David is outraged that Saul can get away with it, when he, David, follows the Lord.

He is proving Point 9.



11 But I am not like that; I live with integrity. So redeem me and show me mercy.
Point 11:  Ask for Mercy.


He states, with certainty, he is not like that.  So he asks for the Grace of God to sustain him, and rescue him.  



Point 12 Now I stand on solid ground, and I will publicly praise the Lord.
Point 12: Again, Tell People about how Awesome the Lord is!


And when he is done, does he wait for something to change, like Saul to die or send a message?  NO.  He gets us, stand up, and not only praises the Lord, but does it in front of others.  That takes faith. He dives right into the rest of his life with the faith that God will not let him falter.  Click Diving In, for more on how I have dived into my life since I have learned the truth of God's word.



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