That line kept me up the rest of the morning, because it combined with another line that I heard in the Joan of Arcadia - The First Season
Speaking of myself, looking back at my life, and the difficultly my TBI has caused, and the friends I have lost, even the ability to teach Sunday School because I stood up for the right of something that they did not agree with; all these things were not about God, but about me, it turns out. I had twisted my view of the world to defend myself, the whole time thinking I was being the Godly martyr. It actually hurt me to see this side of myself. Was I right in my view of scripture that caused my church to freak out. Probably. Pretty sure I was more right they they were. However, that was the easy way. The hard way would have been for me to swallow my pride, and just skirt the issue all-together. But no, I had to take a righteous stand for God's sake. Like he needs me to defend him. Anyway, this one episode of Joan of Arcadia opened up my eyes to the possibility that I was being a dink.
Then, unbidden by me, I remembered something my wife had said that really "pissed me off." She had said, "It's always about you." "No Freaking Way," I yelled, "It's about what's right. I don't need to hear this anymore."
So, at 4am, right after my wife's cat jumped on my face, making sure I was awake, I read "The truth doesn’t mind verification. Only lies want you blind to other possibilities.”in the Swarm: Star Force Series #1
Boom. Head ache. One of my pet peeves for Christians and non-Christians alike, is refusing to have their views challenged, as if God needs us to have a stiff back about interpretation issues in the bible. As if God is not powerful enough to exact his own vengeance, if necessary. Had I been guilty of the same thing. Was it about me, and I was afraid to verify what I thought and said?
So I ran though my head the things that really upset me.
All that I can remember.
It took hours.
I'm really that messed up.
And...
I was being a fake martyr. My wife was right. Worse, I was afraid of the truth.
Sometimes, God speaks to us in the strangest ways.
Sometimes I am wrong.
Today is the first day of me being a citizen of the Kingdom, but one who recognizes that God loves EVERYONE, even fake martyrs like me.
-Peace
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By the way, I recommend both the DVD set and the books, especially if you like Sci-Fi.
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